We all make the excuse of being too busy to do, well, anything and everything. ”I’m too busy to go back to school, so I’m stuck at this desk job.” ”I’m too busy to play tennis.” ”I’m too busy to write, read, excercise, do anything other than work or watch TV.”
In addition to my domestic, scholarly, and financial duties, I am a writer. In additon to being a writer, I am currently producing a play festival. I am doing it all with no excuses. Through this process, I am learning when enough is enough, though. Doing it all is not always graceful or done well. There are times that my plate is too full and I am grumpy to those I love (or with whom I have to work!) Below are some tips and real life examples from some professors at UT Dallas.
Allocate some chores
Married? Or do you have a roommate with whom you can split domestic duties? Make a list on a dry erase board so everyone knows which chore is theirs. There is now no excuse not to help. Use a different color for each house hold member and write down the chores on a dry erase calender. The calander can also be used to write down the family schedule so you always know who needs to go where.
Ask for help
I get so mad at my loved ones for not helping me when I need it most. I have finally figured out why they don’t help. They don’t know that I need it! To them, I appear to be fully handling things myself and don’t need any help. If I needed it, I’d ask, right?
Learn when to say no
Out of guilt, obligation, self worth issues, whatever, we often take on more than we can handle. I hate letting those around me down, so I often take on way more than I should. Turns out that saying no is one of my professor’s tips to doing it all. Professor Janet Johnson gives the following example as to how saying no helps her do it all.
I have learned to say no. I learned not too long ago after two parents fell ill at the same time that school, caretaker, and student were not working. I put my own school on the back-burner and proceeded more slowly than what I would have done a few months before. I remember trying to cook, clean, act as a nurse and running to Denton to teach at UNT. I knew that I could not keep up the pace. I hated that I couldn’t do it ALL! But I started asking for help and when I needed help– I need to slow down and reassess the situation to try to keep myself sane. I remember more people were worried about me than about my parents. I really wore my body down mentally and physically. There are just not enough hours in the day. But in the midst of crisis I ended up passing my doctoral qualifying exams. Don’t ask me how–I just did it. And that’s the secret–just do it, but don’t try to do it all at once!!
Make Time for your passions
There is never enough time in the day. You have to make the time. Professor Gary Swaim gives some tips on making time for his (and my) passion, writing.
Most important is the matter of making room for those things for which you have a passion. I think every person, especially writers and teachers, must do what they do because of passion. As to writing, in particular, I think it important that you make yourself sit and write, wherever you might be taken. . .then stop your writing at whatever time is of greatest interest to you so that you’ll have no difficulty starting your writing the next time your seat is in the chair. You have a restarting place automatically.
Know when enough is enough- STOP taking on more!
It is easy to keep taking on more tasks. This is different from saying no. This is saying no to yourself which can be just as difficult as saying no to a loved one, friend, boss, teacher, etc. This is knowing your limits. This one is difficult for me. Dr. Swaim says the following about knowing when to stop. I wish I would have gotten this advice a few weeks earlier!
I quit taking on more tasks when I find myself pulled away from the things that feed my soul. Enough is enough when family, writing, reading, teaching, travelling, tennis, and/or golf have no breathing room. I read every night before going to bed. It feeds all of the other passions wonderfully well and places a perspective on the whole of my life.
“Think about one task at a time. Don’t go crazy trying to multitask.”
Professor Johnson says it best in this final tip. You can do it all, but don’t do it all at one time. Multitasking causes many tears, frustrations, stomach aches, and premature balding. Not good. Make a list and prioritize. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do it all in one day. At least the most important tasks will get done. Tomorrow is always another day!
Not making excuses and doing the things you love is what life is about. If you dream about computer science, persue it by taking classes or playing around with it. If you want to act, take an acting class or start auditioning for local shows. If you want to cook, get a recipe and play with your food. The only thing stopping you from happiness, your dreams, fulfillment is your excuses. Like the old Nike ad, “just do it.”
